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Post by luinvinial on Feb 3, 2008 19:44:25 GMT -5
Elizabeth Swann: Jack, it would never have worked out between us. Jack Sparrow: Keep telling yourself that, darling. [Elizabeth tries to kiss Jack and he moves away] Jack Sparrow: Once was quite enough!
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animefrk92
Knight
Bard of the Realms[P:750]
Posts: 265
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Post by animefrk92 on Feb 4, 2008 15:13:59 GMT -5
POTC2 This is from the scene where Jack, Will, and Norrington are fighting over the key to the chest. Elizabeth - "This is barbaric... Oh, yes, let's all just pull out our swords and start slashing them around at each other. That'll solve EVERYTHING!!!
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Post by luinvinial on Feb 4, 2008 15:19:18 GMT -5
Also from pirates dead man's chest where Jack is trying to get a ship... I think... very long btw.... but w/e:
Jack Sparrow: I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable: The Black Pearl. Mullroy: Well, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor. Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship. Mullroy: No, it's not. Murtogg: Yes it is, I've seen it. Mullroy: You've seen it? Murtogg: Yes. Mullroy: You haven't seen it. Murtogg: Yes, I have. Mullroy: You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the feeted, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out? Murtogg: No. Mullroy: No. Murtogg: But I have seen a ship with black sails. [Jack quietly slips passed them unnoticed] Mullroy: Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the feeted and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me? Murtogg: [nodds] No. Mullroy: Like I said, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
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Post by luinvinial on Feb 4, 2008 15:35:55 GMT -5
Also from POTC Dead Man's Chest:
Jack Sparrow: [looking at all the swords] Who makes all these? Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them three hours a day. Jack Sparrow: You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you? Will Turner: I practice three hours a day, so when I meet a pirate, I can kill it.
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Post by luinvinial on Feb 4, 2008 15:37:56 GMT -5
[Jack throws a bucket of water on sleeping Gibbs] Mr. Gibbs: Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love. Jack. You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'. Its bad luck. Jack Sparrow: Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking. Mr. Gibbs: Aye, that'll about do it. [Will throws more water on Mr. Gibbs] Mr. Gibbs: Blast I'm already awake. Will Turner: That was for the smell.
Norrington: No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north, [looks at Jack's sword] Norrington: And I half expected it to be made of wood. You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of. Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.
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Post by luinvinial on Feb 4, 2008 15:38:35 GMT -5
Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!
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animefrk92
Knight
Bard of the Realms[P:750]
Posts: 265
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Post by animefrk92 on Feb 5, 2008 17:09:10 GMT -5
ok, i kno there are a lot but they're really cool(from Law & Order: SVU):
Elliot - "Because you still have one good arm left to break." Olivia - "You know, my partner has anger managment problems. I thought he had them under control but apparently I was wrong." Elliot - "Trust me, I've had a bad couple of weeks." Olivia - "Seriously, he will break your arm." ----- Olivia - "Where's Munch?" Fin - "He called in sick." Olivia - "He's such a hypochondriac. How many times has he had anthrax this week?" ----- Munch - "Then what is your problem with the pubecent set?" Fin - The smell of pimple cream turns my stomach." ----- Olivia - "So what, he bashes her head into the wall like that?" (takes demonstrates to Elliot what she thinks he said) "Oh, no no no, you men, you hit her over the head with a building. Gotcha." ----- Dolera Mola - "My name is Dolera Mola and I'm your assigned public defender." Olivia - "What are you? Twelve?" Mola - "I'm 25." ----- Shrink (girl) - "Do you have a girl-friend?" Munch - "Do you?" ----- Fin - "Why do we always end up searching for the needle in the haystack?" Munch - "Takes me back to the Easter egg hunting of my youth." Fin - "Your Jewish. Your parents hid eggs?" Munch - "My point exactly. All those futile hours of searching." ----- Elliot - "Oh, no" Star - "What?" Elliot - "Tofu patties." ----- Munch - "The van tried to take a short-cut to Brooklyn. The river got in the way." ----- Olivia - "Just give me the release papers to sign." Craigan(Captain) - "There a problem here?" EMT - "She's refusing medical attention." Craigan - "Well, you must have heard wrong because Detective Benson," (Olivia) " ,wouldn't violate procedures." Olivia - "I don't need to go to the hospital, Captain." Fin - "Hasmat's ready to go, Captain." Craigan - "Take her; restrain her if you have to." Olivia - *looks on in disbelief*
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atr0
Squire
Graphic Designer
Posts: 64
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Post by atr0 on Feb 13, 2008 20:19:17 GMT -5
Said when someone sprays you (spits on you)
'I asked for the news not the weather' cracks me up still
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Post by luinvinial on Feb 15, 2008 15:11:12 GMT -5
lol NICE
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Post by luinvinial on Mar 19, 2008 22:14:21 GMT -5
"...and he gracefully jumped out of my window." haha I found this randomly surfin' the web and I thought it was hilarious so.... yeah. it was in a cheesy fanfic I came upon
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Post by ne3p on Mar 20, 2008 9:36:40 GMT -5
sadly these are from a rather boring source, but whoever wrote the textbook must have been completely insane in the first place
A level physics textbook:
If you could look inside your television set you would see a large vacuum tube...[etc]...DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REMOVE THE BACK OF A TV SET TO LOOK INSIDE!
or
You are perhaps unaware that you are living at the bottom of a hole.
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Post by .:Luthien:. on Apr 16, 2008 20:05:00 GMT -5
"berries and creeeeeeeeam!!!!!!!!!"
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animefrk92
Knight
Bard of the Realms[P:750]
Posts: 265
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Post by animefrk92 on Jun 15, 2008 12:43:10 GMT -5
From the book "Wild Magic" by Tamora Pierce in The Immortals series ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Be careful with her Arram. She's hurting."
"I will." He rose, unfoalding his length with a groan. "Use Numair will you? I know you trust Daine, but there's no telling who else might overhear. I still have enemies in Carthack who'd like to know where I am."
Onua made a face. "You're right - Numair."
He grinned. "Come on - what great sorcerer has a name like Arram Draper? I have to have a name to fit my calling, don't you think?"
"All mages are players at heart, I swear. Can't do magic unless you have a big audience to cheer you." She waved him off and returned to her work, smiling. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Seeing that Daine looked puzzled, she explained," He IS the most powerful sorcerer in Tortall."
Daine stared. A boyish man who talked hair-ties? Looking over, she saw a butterfly hovering over Numair's long nose. "Him?"
Onua chuckled. "Yes, him. It takes a powerful Gift to shape-change."
Numair opened his eyes. "You're talking about me. I can tell."
"He's vain too," Onua said loudly. "He takes as much time to dress for court functions as any lady. Which is bad enough, but then he ruins his clothes sitting on the grass to watch meteor showers."
"But that's my good side," protested Numair. "You really should tell her some of my faults." He paused then added," Then again - please don't. I forgot you actually know my faults." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They left camp the next day. Onua set an easy pace stopping twice in the morning to rest. Numair kept up without appearing to tire. Catching Daine's eyes on him once, he thumped himself on the chest and said, "When the Lioness puts a healing on a man, he stays healed!"
"Does your ma know your this silly?" she demanded tartly.
He nodded, comically sad. "The few gray hairs she has on her head are my doing. But" - with an exaggerated change of mood - "I send her plenty of money so she can pay to have them dyed?"
"I hope she beat you as a child," Onua grumbled. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Numair shook Daine as he held her. "You feind!" he yelled. "What on earth possessed you? You were dead! I ought to kill you myself!" ... (break...skipping unimportant parts)
"My heart?" She frowned, remembering. "It made too much noise. I wanted it to quiet down so I could talk with the dolphins."
"Do you HEAR her?" Numair asked the clouds. "She wanted to talk to dolphins, so she stopped her own blessed heart! Mithros, Mynoss, and Shakith!" ... (again skipping unimportant parts)
She got to her feet with a groan. "Do people have visions when they think they're dead?"
His control vanished. "I don't KNOW! I've never TRIED it!"
"Oh, well, I can see there's no more talking to you the rest of the night," she said wisely. "Not till you're out of this pet you're in."
"The pet I'M in?" he bellowed ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`` "You know," Alanna remarked, " I have a feeling, if the people come back, this is going to be a very honest village from now on."
Onua said, "If so, a lot of husbands will be sleeping in the barn." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
Those were just SOME of my favorite quotes from THAT book. There are probably more in other books and I haven't even finished the book yet (well, havent finished it entirely after reading it maybe 5-10 times *grins sheepishly*) Did you notice how most of them included Numair? he's my fave character lol. Laters
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Post by luinvinial on Jun 18, 2008 11:52:39 GMT -5
Found this in another fanfiction I came upon: "He lies to me all the time. Well, not lie. Just conveniently hides the truth." I am totally using that as an excuse. "I didn't lie! I just... conveniently hid the truth! Yeah, That's it!"
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Post by luinvinial on Jun 18, 2008 12:14:58 GMT -5
From another random fanfiction. It sounds hilarious out of context ...
“No. No. No. No. Stop it.” Suddenly Alice was in the room, dragging me off the bed. “You are coming shopping with us. And you...” She pointed a threatening finger at Edward, “...quit trying to dazzle her into submission! She is coming shopping with Rose, and I, and if you try and change her mind then... then just remember that I’m the one planning your wedding!”
“Ok, but can I have my fiancee back please?”
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“It’d be cute, if it weren’t so vomit inducing.”
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“I...I'm bleeding.” I stuttered. “Yes, you're bleeding. It tends to happen to people when their skin is broken.”
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